Penalize ghosting

10 Jul, '21
Sunny Merged

Ghosting isn't the worst but it isn't the best. Have a button for people to report ghosting, ask if their sure, and have the app verify there has been no response for a month or so, then report their statistics on their profile. Get rid of people who chronically ghost others ( >75%)

4

03 Oct, '21
Spencer Merged

Matching and never communicating is very lame. People who match and never talk or respond are unproductive members of the Mutual Community! Users who respond to messages promptly, and who let fewer matches expire without ever messaging should be rewarded! Put their profiles higher in the match order OR give them free Notes!!! Or a free month of Mutual UP! Responsible and clear communication should be rewarded!

17

27 Oct, '21
Moses Lotulelei Admin Merged

"Rate users on % of Matches they actually message" (suggested by Spencer on 2021-10-03), including upvotes (1) and comments (0), was merged into this suggestion.

7

07 Jul, '22
Kenidy Merged

I agree, I feel like the only thing I’m doing on this app is swiping and on a BLUE MOON I’ll match with someone. But, when I do they NEVER respond!!! we need to get rid of those people bc it’s frustrating bc if they aren’t on the app then you shouldn’t give them to me as an option.

11

12 Jul, '22
Kimberly Merged

You could let us report ghosters and then send them a survey,
Do you want to continue to talk to so'n-so...
-no,unmatch me because I lost interest
-no and block for harassment
-not comfortable talking to this person
-yes, I just got very busy
-yes but had a family emergency
-yes, no excuse for ghosting. My bad.

14

02 Sep, '22
Aaron Huang Merged

No. I hate getting ghosted, but people should have to right to talk to you or not.

5

21 Sep, '22
Suzanne Merged

I'd recommend Mutual just reworking the unmatch portion of the app.

1

17 Feb, '23
T J Merged

I have swiped up, interested, on at least 50 singles and only 1 response. Is there an easier and simpler way to find a match for me to marry for time and all eternity? What?!⚒️🖖😇

2

10 Jun, '23
Chris Merged

In response to Aaron Huang's comment, no said anything remotely like that. Of course people can choose who they do or don't want to talk to (unless the government disagrees, but that's a different topic). By matching with someone on here, you're telling them you want to talk. If you get to know someone and change your mind, then tell them like an adult. If you can't even do something that basic, you're in no position to go on dates and shouldn't be here wasting people's time and sowing distrust.

8

15 Jun, '23
Ethan Merged

Genius! Yes ghosting is the WORST. Anything we can do to discourage ghosting should be implemented. I think having a ghost rate that affects your priority in when your profile pops up in the swipe pool would be quite effective.

3

17 Jul, '23
Patrick Merged

Agree. Those who dont talk or ghost should at least state a reason why before leaving you hanging

4

17 Jul, '23
Patrick

Amen agree with you 100 percent

5

20 Aug, '23
Andrew

Absolutely. It's horrendous. I'm a convert, and frankly I expected better from members of the Church. The lack of maturity in general amongst the single females of the church is heart breaking.

15

16 Oct, '23
Jonathan

Sometimes people have this thing called a life and they get caught up in it so please give us guys a chance we have feelings too

11

14 Nov, '23
Adam

I think there should be more talk about why ghosting is bad. I realize that after talking for a little bit, one person might feel like the spark isn't there, so they stop talking or unmatch the other person even though the other side thought things were going well.

14

17 Dec, '23
A King Merged

Wouldn't adding this feature make it so that you would always be afraid to stop messaging someone for fear that they will report you for ghosting? I don't like this idea. It wouldake me feel penned into a relationship that I want to leave.

4

25 Dec, '23
Ransomj

I would add a logic like:
If they haven't responded for 3 days, then send a prompt to the other user with: "has this person ghosted you?" If yes, reduce swipe limits for the ghoster. Maybe send an automated message to the ghoster asking them if they want to keep messaging the person or not. Like a "hello you're ghosting this user, and that's NOT an okay thing to do"

15

27 Dec, '23
Asher

I agree that ghosting should be penalized. Perhaps the removal of the account from mutual or pause it so it can't be seen.

6

19 Jan, '24
Amy

If ghosting is a problem, there should be a prompt though for the person who has not sent any messages. It can be, please select the reason for not communicating with this person: 1., Not interested in the same things/dating goals. 2., I'm busy with life/I'm taking a break from Mutual. 3., We've met and I'm not interested. 4., I'm not sure we have anything in common, (provide a conversation prompt.). 5., I'm ghosting them (provide a space for them to explain.). Then for the person who feels ignored, you can explain it by 1&4 - Why do you want to match with them? 3&5 - Unmatch them. 2 - Be patient. They've got a lot on their plate right now.

24

02 Feb, '24
Bryan

What is the alternative? I'd rather someone ghost me than keep up the conversation out of obligation (or fear of app repercussions for ghosting!), or send a needlessly harsh message explaining that they're no longer interested.

Like, if interest isn't mutual, it sucks no matter how it unfolds. I'm highly skeptical that penalizing ghosting could do anything but make things worse.

30

16 Feb, '24
Reggie

I am for this! It is completely inconsiderate to waste the time of the people you match with. Penalties for it are fair. Simply say why your not interested. Though the one problem I can see is that girls will just lie about the reason.

3

16 Feb, '24
J

People, we are not obligated or entitled to like someone! We all have our agency and if it doesn't work out....move on! I am sure that EVERYONE on here has "ghosted" someone.....

17

19 Feb, '24
Danyale

I think it would be better if the person who didn't respond would receive a prompt asking them if they are still interested or if they would like to unmatch after like 5 days to a week or something since life happens.

If they unmatched, then I at least know for sure they aren't actually interested. A chat getting archived after no response on the other hand is more frustrating.

10

13 Mar, '24
Coralia

No penalties for ghosting!! This is a passive aggressive act to rejection.

People that have been ghosted and are complaining about it, and people that speak/ write racist expressions should be placed in a Safety Issues Group. They need to read the Book of Mormon more often, grow up and respect our own doctrines.
You just want to take everyone else down with you brother, just because you feel uncomfortable; that’s not right 🤦🏼‍♀️💛🌹
I am voting against Ethan’s IDEA!

1

30 Mar, '24
M

Some of us are busy with work or only have the budget option of Mutual and can't always see who has liked us etc....don't isolate a crowd already struggling to get out there

5

21 Apr, '24
Shan

Yes! So long as there’s a 24-48 hour window for responses before penalties to account for people who have variable work schedules or what not.

2

17 May, '24
Nellie

It’s called life!! All y’all need to grow up. People get busy and forget about date apps or other things. I’ve had plenty of times when life just gets super busy and don’t have time to be on my phone nor response to texts for days. That’s not ghosting.

5

24 May, '24
N

I understand the anger here haha. What I’ve found frustrating is when a guy swipes up on me so we match. I am not afraid to message first, so I’ll do that - and then they don’t respond…? Like why’d you match with me if you don’t even wanna talk lmao

3

28 May, '24
Anonymous

I don’t think ghosting should penalized. Does it suck? Yes, but also, sometimes it isn’t intentional or personal. I think ghosting should almost be expected. Don’t take it personally if someone stops messaging you.

If the push to resolve ghosting really is serious, then maybe rather than penalizing the ghosting, encourage better communication through prompts.

5

09 Jun, '24
Jonathan

I mean, I can see it both ways on the one hand. It sucks messaging someone, and not hearing back from them, but on the other hand, if you don’t have Mutual up, you want as many people as possible you may not be able to get a message back for a while.

11 Jun, '24
Jm

It is frustrating to be actively searching for connection and then to match with someone only to have them not respond.
I have wondered if they are busy with life, if they are in a relationship, or maybe they are no longer active on the site. It is discouraging.
I’d like for the app to check in with the non-responder to see why they haven’t responded. There may need to be limitations placed on those few people who use this site as a game. I believe most of us are honestly searching for connection.
I have used multiple dating apps and this one is hands down the best.

1

16 Jun, '24
Antonio

I agree so much with this!!

22 Jul, '24
Ak

I’m not a fan of ghosting or being ghosted but penalizing someone for how often they reply as some comments are suggesting is too invasive. The penalty is already that they won’t connect further but that should be their choice.

2

24 Jul, '24
Kambria

While I am upset when someone swipes up on me before I swipe up on them, and they never talk to me; I don't think ghosting should be penalized. My reasoning is that sometimes people aren't on the app often, or just don't know how to respond, and it would be unfair to penalize them for that. Also, sometimes I don't want to talk to a person anymore, but in order to block them, I also have to report them. I don't want to report someone who did nothing wrong, I just don't want to talk to him anymore.

3

28 Jul, '24
Marie

I don't think people should take ghosting so personally. It's all online. You haven't met this person in real life. There hasn't been a chance to create much of a connection. People are allowed to take breaks from the app or not check it regularly.
Don't get too disappointed if someone on a dating app ghosts you. You don't even know them. Maybe they just got the app on a whim and don't check it often, maybe they matched with too many people and don't have time to respond. There are so many reasons; you don't have to take it personally.

3

04 Aug, '24
Kellie

Sometimes I get so mamy matches that I can't respond to everyone. I work full time and have a home and large family to care for. Also the app has tech issues. I can't see what I'm typing when I'm trying to respond to someone. That slows me way down and there has been no response from Mutual since I reported the issue. I've been ghosted many times and I guess I have unintentionally ghosted many as well. I have heard that women get a lot more matches than men and so for men it could hurt feelings more easily. I'm sorry this happens. I have been excited for people who just didn't pick me and stopped talking... so I just move on and look for someone new. I hope we can all be more understanding with the imperfection of dating sites and appreciate it when things do work out. I wish all of us the very best!

2

22 Aug, '24
Jacob Watson Admin

"Ghosting ratio" (suggested by <Hidden> on 2021-07-10), including upvotes (106) and comments (11), was merged into this suggestion.

16 Sep, '24
Thomas

If this is implemented, I think it would need to be combined with level of activity.

I wouldn’t want to penalize someone for ghosting, just because they don’t login much.

Also, you would need to warn people of the consequence of swiping up and not responding. This would then reduce the number of swipes, which may or may not be what folks want. I don’t like the endless swiping either, feels like there might be some third category here, where a person commits to responding if they swipe up, vs. those who do not commit, so you can filter by those first, since the level of interest is presumably higher.

22 Sep, '24
Cory

The league dating app gives bonuses for people who message first and message back, that worked well

1

29 Sep, '24
Nathan

This could be a very difficult feature that likely has some big drawbacks. I can easily see it being abused. For instance, if period decided to take the conversation off Mutual, and one of them was unhappy with the way things were looking, they may get vindictive and say the other person ghosted them. They may not have, but all the information mutual would have would indicate that the aviation is true.

06 Nov, '24
n8

Overt Ghosting feature
This feature used a GHOST button, with a popup message confirming that the user wants to leave the chat, then the app sends a message telling the other user that they got ghosted.

1

01 Dec, '24
Corinna E.

I like the prompts being sent after a match. 3 days, 5 days, then a " time is running out" on day 7.
I also agree that conversation starters can be helpful. Daily phycology/relationships tips on how to build connections & create lasting friendships, would be a great addition.
Everyone will benefit from the knowledge & it will help prepare those that have no clue. (I have "Love While Parenting". It's free and great for relationships)
I do love the " 7 days to start the conversation " timer, after the match has initiated that is already active. It creates a sense of urgency.

I do wonder at times why men unmatch once the girl starts the conversation. It would be good to have a survey on that topic.
* curious: If a women is respectful, over all Temple worthy, are men expecting them to start out flirting? It seems that's what they want. If they don't flirt do men think that the woman is less interested in them than they are of her?
I personally think the last 'like' starts it.

01 Dec, '24
Jake A Merged

Somehow have something happen if someone doesn't send any message after a match

13 Dec, '24
Jacob Watson Admin

"Penalize ghosting" (suggested by <Hidden> on 2024-12-01), including upvotes (1) and comments (0), was merged into this suggestion.

24 Dec, '24
Daniel

Yes it suck’s to be ghosted but this suggestion is ridiculously immature. We are all adults and get busy with life. I’d say get rid of the auto archive. I feel like that probably contributes to ppl being ghosted. Leave it to the individual to decide when they want to move a chat to archive instead of leaving it in their regular list.

04 Jan
Bridget

I think it would be awesome to have a common definition of ghosting. I don't believe it's possible to ghost someone you haven't met in person and built a real life relationship with. Not messaging a match isn't ghosting. It's losing interest.

1

01 Feb
Cameron

It would be nice if those people that don't respond don't get shown as often. Obviously a bit more complicated but if a dude or girl only responds to half of the first messages, then they get shown half the time. It would force a little more effort maybe idk

03 Feb
Lisa

I have had the experience of not receiving a notification of when someone leaves a message until a week or so has gone by. Sometimes the app doesn't send me any notification and I find out when I match with someone else and begin to message them.
In addition, if we are to penalize people who "ghost" we must have a clear definition of "ghosting." Some people think it is when you don't respond within an hour or two. Some people want you to write everyday. For me, I have a very busy life, so I respond when I can. IF that isn't good enough for someone else, then I feel bad, but I can't leave work or my kids to reply to someone else... they must learn to be patient.

Comments: 48