Penalize ignoring a message from a match
One of the worst things about Mutual is matching with someone, sending that person a thoughtful message, and then getting ignored. Unfortunately, this happens far too often.
Possible remedies:
1) Each person has a queue of, say, 5 waiting messages. Each message must be either responded to or the match removed. Once the queue is full, all new matches will be hidden. If someone removes too many matches, his/her ability to swipe is temporarily revoked.
2) If someone ignores more than, say, 50% of new match messages, he/she will be forced to initiate conversations or lose the ability to see new profiles.
The danger, of course, is that the system would be easy to game. Somehow each person should be incentivized to make meaningful connections, not try to rack up matches to ignore.
Comments: 17
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05 Apr, '21
KHNot sure this would help. They can respond a “Hi” and still ignore you. It’s just life. I’d rather get ignored than get tons of “hi”s.
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10 Apr, '21
MJJust my perspective, but every time I swipe up, I'm hopeful that that person is going to be awesome. However, often once I receive a message from them, I'm not always confident that they are someone I want to be talking to... I don't think I should be penalized for deciding that I don't want to respond to a message that makes me uncomfortable or even just uninterested. In all fairness, many of my messages go ignored as well (Crazy, I know! Cuz I am such an incredible conversationalist ;) That's just the nature of dating apps. They're exhausting enough without having to put extra pressure on them of being required to respond to messages you don't have the energy to respond to.
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10 May, '21
LaurenI feel like you're just being butthurt. They're not interested, chill out.
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13 May, '21
Meg MergedGive some sort of incentive for sending initial messages so that less matches expire with nothing being done.
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20 May, '21
EllaI get that being ignored is annoying but...it’s a dating app. No one owes anyone anything. Allowing someone to be penalized for not responding to a stranger they swiped up on is a bit much. It would also make conversations feel too forced.
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01 Jun, '21
Madeleine“Efficient sorting” is the name of the game in dating. Everyone deserves someone who is absolutely CRAZY about them. So, if you send a message that gets ignored, that person has literally sorted herself for you. She’s not interested. You’re now free to spend your energies elsewhere. Isn’t that lovely?
I also think that adding a penalty to ignored messages will make people EXTRA careful about who they swipe up on for fear that they might, due to busy lives outside of their phones, accidentally illicit a penalty and then be unable to keep sorting.
That bodes poorly for all of us, doesn’t it? -
06 Jun, '21
Tay MergedReduce how many up swipes people can do if they’re repeatedly matching with people and then immediately unmatching them/blocking them
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09 Jun, '21
Moses Lotulelei Admin"Penalize instant unmatching" (suggested by Tay on 2021-06-06), including upvotes (1) and comments (0), was merged into this suggestion.
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23 Jun, '21
Moses Lotulelei Admin"Incentive for having conversation" (suggested by Meg on 2021-05-13), including upvotes (1) and comments (0), was merged into this suggestion.
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27 Jul, '21
PaigeMadeleine is right. Better to just realize that they’re not actually interested and move on.
You get a chance or two to impress me (and I you), but if there’s nothing interesting then I just move on.
I can say for certain if this app forces me to interact with someone I’m just not that interested in, I will just delete the app to find something better. -
11 Oct, '21
DJIf they ignore you. They are obviously not interested. Forget about them and move on. Just my opinion. They aren’t worth your time.
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07 Nov, '21
LizzyI repeatedly become frustrated and, honestly, depressed bc of Mutual due to not getting any messages or replies. It’s so much easier for me to initiate conversation on Tinder, but I’d way rather be on a *dating* app for members.
I really really like to see these features implemented. I feel like they would discourage “swiping on everyone” and disingenuous matches.
I think this app could be something really special and help so many people, but it seems to only work if you are “attractive” enough. Because if this, I am deleting this app, once again. Hopefully for the last time. Having your self-worth and depression be unnecessarily impacted by a shallow, judgmental app isn’t worth it. -
24 Nov, '21
MorganIn my opinion, if you swipe on someone… you ARE interested in them. Call me crazy, but isn’t that the whole point? If they made a mistake, they need to unmatch. I’m fed up with how many people I match with to be absolutely disappointed at the odds of someone actually replying, which are very low. I get better luck on other dating apps than this one, so there is actually a problem here.
This has turned into a catalogue app rather than a dating app. Which is terrible. I don’t necessarily agree with penalizing people because that’s really not fair and accommodating to all different situations, so what else can be done?? Because certainly something needs to be. I’ve seen suggestions on filtering interest levels and I’m all for that feature. -
10 Dec, '21
AustinI think this is a great idea, honestly it is this happens so often, and after a while, it gets really heavy. It's hard to cope with the idea that you are so unwanted. And I get it, like if they aren't interested that's fine, but then don't swipe up. And if you talk and decide you aren't interested that's one thing, but I think if you match with someone you should at least make a small effort to try and see what their about. This is the exact thing that turns most people off from dating apps.
And maybe I am just being butt hurt, but so are 33 other people who up voted this and an additional 41 on a similar forum. 🤷♀️ -
19 Feb
Jean MergedPenalize users who match but do not interact with their match. If someone is going to swipe up, there has to be at minimum some level of interest. Without even sending or replying to a single message it’s to be expected that they changed their mind and no longer want to know more? This happens way too frequently
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02 Mar
Moses Lotulelei Admin"Penalize Unresponsiveness" (suggested by Jean on 2022-02-19), including upvotes (1) and comments (0), was merged into this suggestion.
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04 Mar
robI disagree with this suggestion. This complaint is not isolated to Mutual alone. I get the frustration behind this but if that person isn't going to talk then they probably aren't worth another minute of your time after all.